1944 december 24

December 24, 1944

Sunday 1300

My Dearest Mrs. Morgan -

Looking about me this bleak cloudy day, there isn’t much that implies the significance of the season. The only essence in the warm air which lends to the fact, is the innate sense of a day of mere vacation from the regular grind. There are Christmas trees in the bks, freely decorated, and the continued arrival on all hands of pkgs and greetings to establish the truth that it is really Christmas. Then too, there is the inevitable radio with its constant remonstrances. (<-- borrow from you)

It is my conclusion that the most potent missing ingredient of this holiday is the lovely association of one’s family. The spirit comes from that association and the joy comes from the happiness of each other in each other. I can plainly picture our home the morning after Santa’s visit. Mama patiently trying to keep he babies away from the presents under the tree while she drags papa from the bed to witness the fun. I crawl reluctantly, tho excitedly, from the warm depths of a soft bed to usher the climaxtic moment of weeks & weeks of careful and painstaking planning and work on the part of my sweetheart. We take up positions on the floor around the tree while mama excitedly distributes the pkgs one by one and each of the kids wants to get a pkg out from under the tree by himself or her. I can’t decide who is more anxious to open presents, my little tiny boys and girls or my little girl, so I call it a tie. Then after most all pkgs are opened, everybody says to open yours, daddy. So daddy, rather curiously, opens his pkgs wondering how many pairs of socks or hankies or ies I might get this year. And did my darling get me that shirt I needed so badly and just what would my surprise present be this year. Now kiddies, leave that candy alone till after breakfast! - And so, another “Dady” has come bringing with it and fulfilling the anxious longings of a solid year of waiting of childish hearts. The fulfilling of the desires of those 4 particular childish hearts has thus filled your heart and mine with a wholesome satisfaction which has in turn been complemented by the tokens we have arranged for each other to arrive at the utter fullfillment of the joy of love. We must capture enough of the supreme feeling to last thruout another year maintaining thru the year a solid semblance of the spirit of love and harmony. We therefore partake wholeheartedly and perhaps greedily of the joys of Xmas time. And we pray just as wholeheartedly and earnestly for the conclusion of this horrible war that our next Yuletide might be one of even greater joy.

As I sit here struggling to tell you of my thots and feelings for my dear little family, I can scarcely prevent the tears from streaming.

I never got as many cards as I expected. Got one yesterday from Aunt Rose and Clyde and a second one the other day from Garn. I have finished Mildred’s cookies and can hardly wait to dig into your cake tomorrow.

The smaller pkg you spoke of sending hasn’t arrived yet and I’m quite disappointed at not being able to open it in the morning. However, whatever Mom’s and Jessie’s pkgs hold for me should satisfy me till yours arrives. Do not fret because it didn’t come in time. I know how busy and pressured for time you are, my darling, and besides, I do have one pkg from you already.

Tomorrow, I have thots of getting an airplane ride finally, if everything works out as I wish and the sky looks halfway clear. There is planned a Xmas dinner here of the same proportions as on Thanksgiving and I do not wish to miss it.

Another school week has passed, leaving 16 more to go. The seamen who have finished their first 16 weeks are getting their rates. It seems to take a couple of weeks to get the official OK but the effective date is that of completion of the 16 weeks. My sixteen will be up in 4 weeks. I just barely squeeked thru the bldg I just finished with an 81 average which is my lowest yet but still is sufficient to get me the 2nd class rate upon graduation. If I can just keep from getting below in any blg, the rate will be a cinch. Up to this point my compound average is 86 which is pretty good. From now on, the work promises to be more interesting. The building we begin Tuesday contains our first piece of radar which we study for 2 weeks to be followed by 2 weeks on what is called 1.F.F. meaning identification friend or foe.

With that last dance on April 28th, it looks as tho I might miss it because my graduation date is the 14th. There doesn’t seem to be any definite pattern of departure from this place. Some fellows leave the day after they graduate, others hang around for days. They have been getting 10 days + 4 or 5 days traveling time. In order for me, with that kind of a leave, to get in on the dance, I couldn’t leave here before the 16th to allow myself sufficient traveling time on the other side of the 28th. But on second thot, it looks like an almost ideal possibility, so here’s hoping. Wouldn’t that be perfectly wonderful, my sweetheart? I just hope the darned course isn’t extended beyond 28 weeks. That would be disastrous.

I am grateful to you, hear heart, for breaking into your very busiest days to writ eme and thereby comforting me on thru these lonely days. Your breakfast time letters I somehow expect to see splotched with jam or chocolate or milk or just plain water. You must not write them at the breakfast table else your offspring are finished eating. You see my point, no doubt, in being amazed at the spotless condition of such written letters.

Mom, unwittingly informed me that you had sent a fruit cake in order to excuse her not sending one she had prepared on purpose. I was rather sorry she didn’t send it anyway till the one from Aunt Rose arrived. Maybe she will send it in a month from now.

Our branch is putting on a New Year’s dance on the 30th and I thought that was swell, perhaps I could get in a couple of swings. But every allusion I made to going to the dance was met with criticism in words and looks such as I have never witnessed in any other nook of our church. The wife of our branch president, who is an older woman, as well as the younger married girls were unanimous in their degree of alarm at my mere mention of going. I can somewhat understand the younger girls opinions because they are more newly married but when a woman not many years older than I takes such an attitude I do not understand. Perhaps they would rather have me go to some joint & mingle with people I know nothing about and whose standards are so much evidently lower. It makes me rather bitter to meet such reactions from people whom I thot were good companions in the brotherhood of our church. But please, darling, don’t you give the matter a single concern because it will not warp my viewpoint, and I would rather let the matter drop right here and now without further discussion. Please do not mention to anyone what I have said on the matter.

If I haven’t already done so a dozen or more times, I hereby promise to follow your lead in an exploration of the world of music, for I believe I understand the grip which music has on your soul, along with me, and there is no reason why I should not make it my allie. I can see the possibilities of the bond it could develop between us. At the present time, I can honestly say that I enjoy concert music, probably not to the fullest as yet, however. The type which will be hard for me to comprehend, as I have said many many times, is that of the opera. I can see that one objective of operatic music is to demonstrate the perfection and versatility of voice or instrument skills, but to the present date I must admit that what I have heard holds no particular attraction for my musical feelings. Don’t say that I don’t have a music sense because I am sure of some. I do not believe you know just how much some music does affect me. There have been oft times when hearing certain music just fills me to the brim with emotion and the thot that I have certainly missed my calling by not being a musician. Then what a let-down to realize my ignorance of the subject and my inability to even remember the name of the piece which enchants me. So, my dearest, you can depend on my being a willing co-partner in making music a major function of our lives & especially for the kiddies. Sounds like Bing giving “White Christmas” on a distant radio. That guy & his voice have certainly become an American by-word. His standard is as completely “tops” as any tradition in American history, I do believe.

Say, darling, can Farrell whistle, yet. Don’t you think whistling harmony duets would be a good idea. Of course you will have to learn with him.

“White Christmas” is by far the most popular song of this season, is it not. It seems to be on the radio continuously.

Today I heard Richard Evans & the choir. It made me even more homesick.

It seems that someone always pops up with clothes for the kids. I guess you’uns are living right. I was awfully embarrassed to discover that I had forgotten Aunt Mary’s last name when I was mailing cards. I could make a good guess at the address. So I sent a card to Harry and asked him to give his family and Bessie my greetings.

You have done a marvelous job of making things for the kids and others’ kids, my darling, and I am proud of you for it and congratulate your ingenuity and resourcefullness and energy. I always knew I picked a wonderful little girl to wife.

I am glad o hear that you were able to take the babies to visit santa. No doubt they enjoyed him thoroughly. Say, isn’t Karen approaching the age of understanding the facts of life concerning the old “gent”? Does she show any signs of dubiousness?

I am glad o hear that you have been able to do something for Lola & her brood. That is indeed the true spirit of Xmas and will surely reward you many-fold. As you said, it is truly sad that such troubles should come into the life of Lola who i so patient and peaceable.

It appears that you saved quite a bit by making so many presents. Good for you!

One would think that Mildred likes to have babies. That will put her one up on you, won’t it? But she is older or is she? Anyhow, it is amazing!

Do you really think you are lucky to be married to me? I won’t ask you if you think you could have done better. I know, for a fact, that I couldn’t have done better in my choice of a wife.

It is alarming to hear of the continued accounting of marriage problems among so many of our friends. What is it - a trend? I am certainly happy to realize that we have our problems in hand to the extent that I feel confident in saying that I believe you love me a little bit once again.

So babies need shoes and mama needs shoes! It looks like I’d better get that rate. I am sure of the 3rd class rate in four weeks if they don’t stop giving them by then because I am certainly in the upper 75% of my class.

In your letter of Monday morning Dec. 18, you said in speaking of the past summer, how much more pain the awakening from your dream would have caused if it hadn’t been for me waiting with love for you and sustaining you. Then you said you did suffer a sense of loss which was brief in comparison to what you feared. I fail to catch the exact significance of the loss. Perhaps I am straining for a knat?

Oh, darling, it thrills me so to hear you express your love for me and that you want me and need me and it reminds me of the time long ago when we first discovered our love for eachother and found occasion to write each other in the necessity of keeping our newly found love in close touch. How your first words of endearment thrilled me! But I believe it is moreso now that the words are surely freeer and profoundly deeper. You can be sure that I am thinking constantly of you these holidays and I have my homing eye beamed squarely on springtime in the Rockies. I am touched by your commitment of beginning preparations for my brief home coming so immediately following the holidays. What on earth would be worth so long a preparation and what could require it?

Time out for chow -

1900 My own darling, loveliest, beautiful sweetheart just what could I possibly say to your note of Monday nits! May our souls be united in a oneness of spirit that will bond us, as you say, over any multiple miles and thus temper the yearning of our physical needs. In such closeness of spirit we must be content, to prepare in the spring. If I were to allow myself to concentrate on my longing for you, I am sure I couldn’t bear it either because I love you so! Oh, how could I have let you get so far from me! You can lay your bottom dollar that such a thing has now entered the realm of the impossible, as of now. I can feel that you are truly concerned about me during this particular weekend - and especially if that package arrived yet. I had hopes that it might arrive yet because they have been bringing in sacks of packages all afternoon, but no luck. Maybe tomorrow.

You can be sure, my love, that I am thinking hard of you today and tomorrow. Practically every hour of this day has found me thinking of you. About this very minute you are probably getting the babies to bed or trimming the tree I haven’t ask you about yet. Then you will spend the rest of the evening putting on the final touch of a great accomplishment that our off spring might be very happily surprised in the morning. To sort of add to tomorrow’s beauty I hope it snows nicely tonite as it did a year ago. Then in a couple of hours you will lay you sweet, dear head down to a sound, rewarding, restful sleep knowing that you have done a great job very well. I will allow your sleep to be broken only by sweet dreams with me, holding you so very close that you will be kissing me just the way you like the best and you will be stroking my forehead and cheeks and I will be caressing you tenderly and passionately and - we will dream on and on. May your dreams, my dearest, merge into a day that is truly beautiful in its loveliness and happiness. You are such a wonderful and deserving wife and mother and your four children are such wonderful and deserving children that I will be satisfied in merely knowing that you all belong to me and are thinking of me and are waiting for me.

I love you my darlings,

Rex