1944 december 13

Dec 13, 1944

Wednesday

0730

My Darling -

I should have written last nite but I had a pkg to wrap and cards to address & before I knew it the evening was gone. Perhaps I can slip in a few words during todays break period.

I should have never closed my Sunday letter without congratulating Ferrell’s successful bout with Kent.

1230

That makes me a very proud dad. I bragged to everyone about it. If we can just help him maintain his spirit & at the same time not get pugnacious, he should be a boy to always be proud of. Just how much older is Kent? And how much bigger now?

I am glad that your black coat turned out so nice and warm. Maybe it will last until we can afford a fur one! It still amazes me that Ruth gave the thing to you. Does she ever show any signs of regret?

1730

Another school day has gone and one more day has practically vanished from between us. It isn’t the passing of days as steps in my training that count but it is their passing to diminish the time which keeps me from you. Because you are so dear to me that I feel as an automobile must when it has no gasoline to empower it - to put it mildly! As the time does approach the halfway mark of my 28 weeks, I find that my consciousness of days is changing from a rather hopeless to a more sensitive state. One time soon I might even be driven to counting the actual remaining days in order to be in closer touch with each shortening of the band between us. Just as any individual’s enthusiasm is automatically increased upon approaching a desired goal. If the depth of the desire is a gage of the tempo of enthusiasm, can you imagine how my gusto tries to reach ahead and pull the coming days toward me as I might pull on a rope to hasten my contact with its opposite end.

It pleases me immensely, my dearest, to hear you describe your lightness of heart of the past week because it seemed to coincide in point of time with my similar feeling which I told you of on Sunday. That feeling has subsided somewhat during this week but not completely. I believe that, because of my very sensitive feelings, that feeling was broken somewhat by the tenor of your second letter which came Monday. Not particularly because that letter brot bad news but because it seems that each words that you speak reflects a reactance into my heart. That reactance is in proportion to the degree your heart has slipped out of tune with mine as indicated by your words. Of course, I accept the blame for the slippage, but when I think of the way I have miss-handled your heart, it hurts me deeply. Do not take this as a hint to refrain from telling me fundamental truths such as you have been doing very well, because I am deserving of the depression they may bring and I am willing to accept facts.

I love you, my dear, and will write again soon.
I love you, I love you, I love you,

Rex