and then i blinked

what a conundrum growing is

it just occurred to me that there was

no caution sign with flashing lights

warning us of the dangers ahead

as we sped forward with fervor

going 99, our faces to the sun

i don’t like to reminisce 

the memories are blurry and fogged, yet

a handful of vivid images play on the horizon

just yesterday we were downtown

our shoes claiming miles of pavement

diet mountain dews and a nikon d3000

just yesterday patriots park

was a hazy escape of cigarette smoke

and laughter under starry, summer skies

just yesterday the river glittered

just for us from our solace of a shady tree

on the bank as frank played on the radio

and then i blinked

and your words tug at my heart

as bitter sadness flows freely like 

twin rivers from your green eyes

it’ll be alright, go pack your suitcase

leave the laundry and the dishes

i’m on the street with the engine going

in the getaway car and we’ll fly west

to the blue coast with an old nikon d3000

and let the stars watch over us again

and the speakers remind us that

“we’ll hate what we’ve lost but

we’ll love what we find”

so even for just one, tiny

thrilling, ephemeral moment

pretend like it was before

without a thought for regrets or heartbreak

just give me one more second here

before i have to blink again

vickery park

maybe keeping my eyes shut will stop me
before i think too much

because the swirling rainbow pinpricks 
behind closed lids cannot distract me

from the buzzing neon reflected there
in your searching, inscrutable gaze

the haze of a scuzzy bar and glittering bottles
did not prepare me for

your fervid sigh into the dark of my room
or the longing brought on by miles on an odometer

and i’ll think of your hands

while mine grip the steering wheel

and i’ll wait for my phone screen to 

light up again with a 2 a.m. drunk text

and as state lines pull us apart i’ll pretend not to notice

your fingers crossed behind your back 

as you press send on the empty promise of

“i won’t be forgetting about you anytime soon”

arizona

the highway is calling me
beckoning me towards its vast
and empty spine

double pinpricks of light 
so insignificant
in those dark, sprawling veins

the dark threatens angst
so i wait
to be swept up in a storm

and dropped off by the wind
in the midst of my gold country

where the rolling foothills 
are scorched and burned

begging for the open sky 
to weep silver tears
down upon us

so i can be cleansed too
and i will scrub myself bloody

to be born anew
and shed my old skin

the highway is still calling to me
easing me into the long, winding stretch 
of nothing 
and everything

i am just a double pinprick of light
in the darkest hour of the arizona desert

the dark threatens angst
so i wait 

for the sunrise